Top 3: Worst Flights Ever

Now I'm not normally a fearful flyer, in fact I tend to rather enjoy being on planes, but there have on occasions been moments when I thought to myself "This is it, we're going down" and started in with the Hail Mary's, and there have been other times when the entire experience from arriving at the airport to claiming my luggage has been one nightmare after another. So here are my 3 worst experiences:

1. 2003 - Santiago de Cuba to Havana: Yes, I was fully warned not to fly within Cuba, but when faced with unappealing option of driving for 10+ hours from Santiago de Cuba to Havana, my travel companions and I decided we'd take out chances with the flight. We should have driven like we did on the way down, but we did that over the course of a week.

We'll start with the airport experience. Granted that a group of 15 American (13 of them women) would raise some eyebrows of interest, but at security each and every one of us had our bags completely taken apart and searched with a fine-toothed comb. I honestly think this was more out of curiosity that anything, given that our toiletry cases we're of got the most scrutiny. I think they just wanted to know what kind of stuff we had.

So we go to board the small, old Russian plane and are fully checked again. We claim some seats and are up and away. To say the interior was dilapidated would be a huge understatement, but the duct tape on the wing as what appeared to be a form of repair was just too much to handle. Add to that the fact that the flight attendant flight pin was missing a wing, and we all wanted to be back on the ground. We look out the window and realize we're only about 1000 feet off the ground and bumping and shaking all around. Then a strange noise and then some hazy looking smoke coming through the edges of the plane adds to the terror. It turns out the "smoke" was the air-conditioning mist, and the plane flew that low to the ground the whole way.

We stopped in some coastal town to pick up some more passengers and pick some up, but this wasn't a scheduled stop on our itinerary. We all have to deplane, go through security AGAIN and then re-board. None of us were very excited about this, and very wearily went up the steps for another 45 minutes of torture before landing in Havana.

When we landed in Havana (only 5 hours late mind you), we all literally kissed the ground. Never again will I fly in Cuba. I think any old beat up car would suit me just fine. This one wins by a LONG shot. No other experience even comes close.

2. 1996 - San Francisco to JFK-New York: It's my first time flying to Europe, and I'm on my way to Finland with a layover in New York. We took off 4 hours late so out connection was now pretty minimal. We're descending to the runway, and suddenly within 50 feet of touching ground, we bee-lining it back into the air. Turns out, as the captain so kindly informed us, that there was a plane taking off on the runway we were landing on. Hello, air traffic control? So now we're even later in landing, and all scared shitless because we almost collided with another plane.

The saving grace to this experience was because we were a soccer team representing the US, we were able to get off the plane before everyone else, and were met by airport staff and taken to our departing flight, which had waited for us for an hour. Loved the treatment, but could have done without the harrowing first round of landing games.

3. 2004 - Krakow, Poland to JFK-New York: Now not that anything frightening happened on this flight, but the experience was one of the strangest I've had. First there was all the people that crowded the gate when they made the announcement that the flight would board in 20 minutes. Come on people. Then there was the guy I sat next to for the 9 hours flight that drank half a bottle of vodka and then passed out literally on me. I've actually never had this happen before. And it wasn't easy to move him. I was helpless.

Lastly there was the landing. The plane touches ground, everyone claps and then EVERYONE (I am not exaggerating) get up and starts getting their bags down and stretching. If you've ever flown into JFK you probably know that a good 20 minutes is usually spent taxi-ing around the airport, so I'm looking around at all these people in wonder. Non announcement was made to return to your seats, but I don't think anyone would have listened anyway. Clearly I was not on a US based airline, where the mere sound of a seatbelt unbuckled prompts the flight attendants to make announcement to stay in your seat, with your seatbelt on until you've reached the gate and the light is turned off. This was another animal, and it was amusing and surreal at the same time.

Honorable Mention - CDG-Paris airport: I can't qualify this as a "worst" flight experience because the flight itself was just fine, it was the wench at the ticket counter I wanted to strangle. I booked my ticket but somewhere along the way my flight had been changed to an earlier flight which I had missed because I was never informed. The manager of the ticket counter would not let me on the flights I was there for until I paid a ridiculous fee. I showed her my itinerary print-out but she could have cared less. Many rude comments were exchanged (I'll spare all the details because I am sure it will be a post of it's own one day), and in the end I had to pay to get on the flights I had booked in the first place. Needless to say I brewed a shit storm on the airline's refund and customer service departments and got my money back. Bastards.

Stay tuned for other "Top 3" entries, including Best Flights Ever coming very soon...