Bathing Suit Please

You know it's true what they say about Brazilian bathing suits being virtually non-existent. In my time at Buzios and on the beaches of Copacabana and Ipanema in Rio, I saw a lot of flimsy suits on both men and women. Now I've been to European beaches where the women go topless and the men haven't quite gotten the concept of board shorts yet, preferring the age-old speedo, but Brazil was an entirely different animal.

It was almost like a contest to see who could wear the least amount on the beach without actually being naked. For all intents and purposes they should have just been naked. Nothing was really left to the imagination anyway. And this goes for the men and women. And unfortunately it went for all shapes, sizes and ages. I am all for showing what you got and being proud of it, but I really don't need to see 80-year-old grandma and grandpa in g-strings.

More power to them for body security, and shame on me and my American modesty (is there such a thing in a country that gave the world "Girls Gone Wild"?), but it was a little much for me to handle. On the opposite end of the spectrum there were some seriously hot bodies flaunting their assets, which my gay travel companion seemed to rather enjoy. But then again he himself was wearing a Burberry speedo.

I might not be on the next flight out to Brazil anytime soon, but it has nothing to do with my misadventures in bathing suit fashion, but rather the shit (literally) I encountered in the street one nasty evening. Stay tuned…